


frankie (wherever you are, i love you)

by daydreamsago



Category: My Chemical Romance
Genre: Angst, Drabble, Longing, M/M, Post-MCR, Sad, lovers to strangers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-10
Updated: 2018-09-10
Packaged: 2019-07-10 16:21:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 528
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15953063
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/daydreamsago/pseuds/daydreamsago
Summary: Gerard makes the mistake of looking at old pictures.





	frankie (wherever you are, i love you)

**Author's Note:**

> it’s been a while since i’ve written frerard, but i was inspired by a song (go figure). listen to Frankie by Connie Francis!

So much time has passed since he saw him last. Sometimes, the moments in which he spent by his side feel like a million lifetimes away. A cloudy, half-dream. Distant, hazy.  _Gone._

And Gerard would be lying if he said it didn’t hurt a little whenever he’s reminded of him. The past is a ghost, a residual type of haunting that’s awfully repetitive. There are times he wants to forget, wants it all to go away.

But it doesn’t. It never does.

He has long since moved on: choosing to focus on his art, his family, and his health. Things are so much better than before, and yet, he finds himself sprawled out on the floor, surrounded by old photographs of the band. There’s ones of him, Ray, Mikey, and of course, Frank.

Gerard used to call him Frankie, though they were no longer _that_ close anymore, having drifted painfully apart a couple years ago. They barely speak, to Gerard’s distress. He knows it’s his fault too, but that does nothing to lessen the emotional pain he feels.

He remembers everything. He remembers the friendship, how he became attached so suddenly. He remembers hiding it, fearing what would happen if he scared Frank away. He remembers the night it all spilled out, like a broken dam releasing a million gallons of water. He remembers the acceptance, the tears, the kisses. He remembers loving him in secret, until it all fell apart again. He _remembers_.

The pictures only make it worse, but he’s a fool; he continues to stare at them, thinking that maybe, just _maybe_ , he can yearn Frank back into his arms. He knows this is messed up, knows that he cannot wish for the past and receive it, although he’s somehow not entirely convinced. Freakier things have happened before, right? He stares at a picture of Frank, hoping the universe hears his pleas.

He’s crying, but doesn’t notice until the picture becomes distorted. His heart aches—hopeless and sad. Gerard puts the picture down, next to all the others. Somehow, that makes it worse, because he’s burying his face in his hands, and sobbing unlike he ever has before.

They say that time heals all wounds, yet Gerard’s not so sure that rings true. This hurts just as much as it did in the beginning, when the band broke up and they all went their separate ways. He wants to be with Frank again, to hold him, _love_ him, create with him again. He wants to feel him again, to kiss and fuck him again. Oh, he’s such a mess—he’s worse off than he thought.

He doesn’t put the pictures away like he should. Instead, he pulls a sketch off his desk, along with his favorite fountain pen. He flips the sketch over, and though he can barely see through the tears that cloud his vision, he begins to write.

There’s an old song he remembers, and it’s a little too fitting for his circumstance. The lyrics find their way onto the paper.

_Frankie, wherever you are, I love you._

Gerard knows he’s spiraling down a dark path, but sometimes, time only prolongs the aching.


End file.
